Wandering Heart
Aloha there!
Aloha everyone, my name is Alyssa, I grew up in Aurora but recently moved back to Aurora after being gone on and off for the past six years. It’s good to be back and I am excited to get to be in a YSA again.
I’d like to start my talk off today with a quote by Elder Renlund, he said: “Our Heavenly Father, referring to His Beloved Son, said, ‘Hear Him!’ As you act on those words and listen to Him, remember, joyfully and reverently, that the Savior loves to restore what you cannot restore; He loves to heal wounds you cannot heal; He loves to fix what has been irreparably broken; He compensates for any unfairness inflicted on you; and He loves to permanently mend even shattered hearts.” This quote comes from his most recent talk in conference called Consider the Goodness and Greatness of God.
The title was based off of something King Benjamin said, which is: “I would that ye should remember, and always retain in remembrance, the greatness of God…and His goodness and long-suffering towards you.”
The first person I thought about when reading the title of this talk was of a specific mother. This woman is really important to my family as she is the mother of my first long term foster sister, my favorite sister. My parents started doing foster care about 5 years ago and this sweet girl was one of our first long term placements in the home, she quickly grabbed hold of all our hearts and we never wanted to let go. This sweet girl was fortunately able to return to her parents’ home with her three big brothers after about a year. Upon her return home, we worked hard to maintain a relationship with her parents to ensure that we could stay in Little Ona’s life—and she in ours.
As we continue to strengthen the relationship between our families, we realize how amazingly dedicated this mother is to the Lord, especially considering the terrible hand of cards she was dealt in life. This mother has lived a hard life but been able to make a new one for herself and her family. Life is not a dream yet, but together they can handle anything. Even though life has been extremely difficult (just think about how hard foster care is without even considering the regular hardships of everyday life like money, education or work), this woman still gave praise to God for every good thing that happened to her. She and her family continue to struggle in different aspects of life (like everyone does) but always take time to recognize the good that comes from Christ. Disregarding what the world might think of her, this woman has become one of my superheroes.
I don’t know if this woman has faced this hard of a life because Heavenly Father believes this is the only thing in this world for her to draw closer to His Son. But I do know that because of this lifestyle she has faced, she has chosen to see the good and has recognized that the good is coming from a heavenly power.
When Jesus Christ came to visit the Nephites as a resurrected Being, He said: “And my Father sent me that I might be lifted up upon the cross; and after that I had been lifted up upon the cross, that I might draw all men unto me…And for this cause have I been lifted up; therefore, according to the power of the Father I will draw all men unto me.” What does it take for you to personally be drawn to the Father or to His Son? We can start drawing closer to Them by considering Their greatness and paying our respects through gratitude because of what They have given us.
If we really think about it, Jesus Christ chose to be our Savior even before we were created. He came to this world, and still drank the bitter cup even though He was living through the absolute worst cruelties people have ever performed in earth’s history. And He even chose to come back as a resurrected Being to our world because He believes in us. He asked His Father—our Father—to forgive us because we don’t understand what we’re even doing. He has literally saved us, in all things small and large because of His love for us.
Recently, my family bought an old camper and asked our friends to help us fix it up and renovate the inside in time for a camping trip. That camping trip was scheduled for last weekend. As time approached closer and closer, I caught myself praying for the safety of this journey in a 44-year-old vehicle. We were heading to Jackson Lake, which is apparently a really hot place and I was specifically nervous that the health of my baby brother was in jeopardy considering the amount of times his little body has overheated. About an hour and a half into our journey, the camper broke down. Which could have meant that we were all going to die on the side of the road, in fact we could have died just from the heat of that day. But instead, the Lord prepared the PERFECT spot to break down.
We ended up right next to a large cell tower, so even though we were in the middle of nowhere, (let me know if you’ve ever heard of Roggin, Colorado) we had access to make all the necessary calls to confirm our safety. We had three kids under the age of three in that vehicle with us, if we stayed in the car they would have gone bonkers, and we would have naturally gone insane along with them. Luckily for us, the cell tower had a huge empty driveway that we could take all the little ones to and let them be comfortable in the situation. Also, very fortunate for the situation, we were prepared for camping so we had every single thing you can imagine ensuring that we would not overheat on the 100 degree day. There was a slight breeze which felt really nice but we didn’t have to rely on that because we had ice to chomp on and rub all over our hot bodies. We had water to drink for hydration and dump on us when the ice wasn’t enough. We had food that got eaten very fast. We had blankets to lay on the ground so our kids could have a spot to rest without sitting on burning pavement. We had camp chairs for the adults and essentially used them to build a shady structure for the kids. And we even had fully charged phones for the when the kids wanted to watch a movie on the side of the road! Seriously, the location was nothing short of a miracle.
After about two hours of waiting, our dad was able to come and pick up the family load of 7 passengers. What is also a blessing is that my dad was able to leave in the middle of his shift even though he works in a secure skiff for the government that does not always have open doors. It was incredible that he could get to us that fast. Even more of a blessing is that we made it home in time for dinner and bedtime stories. This is a huge deal when you have little ones who are reliant on a schedule and have had long exhausting days like that.
The more we contemplated about this experience, the more we realized how loving and careful the Lord is about our situation. We might be put in very undesirable circumstances, those circumstances might last a lifetime like my sister’s mom or just a few moments like our camping trip, but no matter the circumstance, it is our choice to choose if we will allow our experiences to draw closer to Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.
Elder Renlund explained that when we choose to remember the Lord in difficult times, we learn to recognize the Spirit more often. Because the Holy Ghost is the teacher of all truth, we are actively building our testimonies when we choose to be grateful and give thanks to the Lord for the blessings Heavenly Father the Jesus Christ have given us.
Obviously, we have all faced difficulties due to this pandemic, and most of us have probably had to change our lives a little bit more drastically than planned. What a perfect opportunity for us all to recognize the Lord’s plan in our lives, right?
A couple months before my school announced we’d be learning remotely, I had a sense that I would be leaving the island soon. I knew I was graduating in June so I would be leaving in the summer, but I had always felt like I would be there forever. Because of this feeling I started to take in the views a lot more cautiously and reverently than I had for about the two years I lived in Hawaii before. These views were full of precious memories the Lord granted me all around the island. I could feel that change was coming, and the Lord was preparing me. I was intending to stay in Hawaii for much longer than just school. Until a Thursday afternoon when I received an email telling all the students to leave the island and return to their home countries or states despite the circumstances those homes were in. I called my parents because of this email and asked if I should come home, we had a plane ticket booked for that coming Sunday within twenty minutes. Life was moving fast for everyone involved, all my neighbors were moving and toilet paper was scarce. The next morning, when driving home from CrossFit with my friends, (knowing that would be the last time I went to the gym before leaving) I had a strong feeling that I needed to leave that day (Friday) and not wait till Sunday. This was a big deal since my best friend was getting married on Saturday. My mom called almost right after I had that feeling and we arranged my ticket for me to leave on Friday evening. This was the last plane in that airline that left Hawaii and came to the mainland for a month, and the last plane from my layover airport in Seattle until further notice. If I had waited another day, I would have been stuck in Hawaii for much longer and not with my family.
I am so grateful that I was able to make that flight, and that the Lord prepared me to leave and be with my family months before the tickets were ever thought of. By paying attention to the Spirit and listening to what He has been trying to teach me through this pandemic, I have been able to build my testimony in His plan for all things. I have been able to gain positive experiences with my family that I would not have had by staying in Hawaii. These experiences with my favorite people in the world have been much better than just living in paradise, in fact my family has become my new paradise. I know the Lord wanted me to learn this in order for me to have a stronger testimony in family and in His love for us as His family. Because of this, I have had a stronger desire to do His will and help others feel His love.
Elder Renlund said: “I do not think that God is insulted when we forget Him. Rather, I think He is deeply disappointed. He knows that we have deprived ourselves of the opportunity to draw closer to Him by remembering Him and His goodness. We then miss out on Him drawing nearer to us and the specific blessings He has promised…By considering Their kindness, our perspective and understanding are enlarged. By reflecting on Their compassion, we become more humble, prayerful, and steadfast…Reflecting on God’s goodness and mercy helps us become more spiritually receptive…Let your consideration of Their goodness more firmly bind your wandering heart to Them.” Like mentioned in the beginning of the talk; “He loves to heal wounds you cannot heal; He loves to fix what has been irreparably broken; He compensates for any unfairness inflicted on you; and He loves to permanently mend even shattered hearts.”
Brothers and Sisters, I ask again, what does it take for you to draw closer to Christ? What does it take for you to heed Heavenly Father’s commandment to hear His Son, to “Hear Him”? What does it take for you to have His help in your life? To feel Their love? I invite us all to ponder what it means to draw closer to Them and as we act on those thoughts to reap the heavenly blessings They have in store for us.
Some time last week my bishop reached out to me asking if I could give a talk in church today. I said of course and asked if there was an assigned topic he'd like me to focus on.
The suggestion he gave was basing my talk after the remarks of Elder Renlund in his most recent conference talk.
While reading his talk I thought of all sorts of things I wanted to include in the remarks I would share with the congregation on Sunday. As I was writing the talk, I realized that I had a wandering heart that Elder Renlund was talking about in his address at conference.
Below is a copy of my talk, a few words are off because I didn't look at my paper very often but it's pretty close!
Before you read this, think about how your heart might be wandering. My heart was not wandering in the search for Christ, rather it was wandering across the globe to find love. I know, freaking cheesey. The cool thing is though, this pandemic forced me to come home and realize there has been love with me all along. Getting married or finding the right guy seemed awesome, but I feel content when I am at home. Not in a way that prevents me from progressing spiritually (if anything; the opposite), but in a way that I am relearning what love feels and looks like within the home before I make my own home again.
Hawaii was wonderful, I would have chosen to live there forever because of the love I built for the islands.
Traveling the world while taking advantage of the island proximity to other nations was incredible, Taiwan, Fiji, Kiribati, the Philippines, all wonderful. I went to each place with purpose, thinking myself like a nomad, but really like a wanderer at the same time not knowing what to expect in foreign countries....
Kiribati was incredible and the people close to me there taught me what love is without the romanticism.
Canada of course has a place in my heart, but really those moms and dads who immigrate there from China and Taiwan to make sure their kids have a better shot at having a successful future, learning new languages and sacrificing lifestyles all because they love their kids.
This is the kind of love that has been in front of me for my entire life, and I just always wanted a cute love story that lasted forever, my parents have a really cute one so I expected one too.
It's just that, because of coming home and binding my heart closer to Christ and Heavenly Father I have felt for the first time in years that my heart is not wandering and instead become grounded to the roots my family established for me. I didn't realize how much I would like roots.
I am still a seeker of adventure, for sure! However, now there are people I associate home with more so than before. They are my roots, they are helping me bound my wandering heart.
Now, here's for the talk:
Aloha everyone, my name is Alyssa, I grew up in Aurora but recently moved back to Aurora after being gone on and off for the past six years. It’s good to be back and I am excited to get to be in a YSA again.
I’d like to start my talk off today with a quote by Elder Renlund, he said: “Our Heavenly Father, referring to His Beloved Son, said, ‘Hear Him!’ As you act on those words and listen to Him, remember, joyfully and reverently, that the Savior loves to restore what you cannot restore; He loves to heal wounds you cannot heal; He loves to fix what has been irreparably broken; He compensates for any unfairness inflicted on you; and He loves to permanently mend even shattered hearts.” This quote comes from his most recent talk in conference called Consider the Goodness and Greatness of God.
The title was based off of something King Benjamin said, which is: “I would that ye should remember, and always retain in remembrance, the greatness of God…and His goodness and long-suffering towards you.”
The first person I thought about when reading the title of this talk was of a specific mother. This woman is really important to my family as she is the mother of my first long term foster sister, my favorite sister. My parents started doing foster care about 5 years ago and this sweet girl was one of our first long term placements in the home, she quickly grabbed hold of all our hearts and we never wanted to let go. This sweet girl was fortunately able to return to her parents’ home with her three big brothers after about a year. Upon her return home, we worked hard to maintain a relationship with her parents to ensure that we could stay in Little Ona’s life—and she in ours.
As we continue to strengthen the relationship between our families, we realize how amazingly dedicated this mother is to the Lord, especially considering the terrible hand of cards she was dealt in life. This mother has lived a hard life but been able to make a new one for herself and her family. Life is not a dream yet, but together they can handle anything. Even though life has been extremely difficult (just think about how hard foster care is without even considering the regular hardships of everyday life like money, education or work), this woman still gave praise to God for every good thing that happened to her. She and her family continue to struggle in different aspects of life (like everyone does) but always take time to recognize the good that comes from Christ. Disregarding what the world might think of her, this woman has become one of my superheroes.
I don’t know if this woman has faced this hard of a life because Heavenly Father believes this is the only thing in this world for her to draw closer to His Son. But I do know that because of this lifestyle she has faced, she has chosen to see the good and has recognized that the good is coming from a heavenly power.
When Jesus Christ came to visit the Nephites as a resurrected Being, He said: “And my Father sent me that I might be lifted up upon the cross; and after that I had been lifted up upon the cross, that I might draw all men unto me…And for this cause have I been lifted up; therefore, according to the power of the Father I will draw all men unto me.” What does it take for you to personally be drawn to the Father or to His Son? We can start drawing closer to Them by considering Their greatness and paying our respects through gratitude because of what They have given us.
If we really think about it, Jesus Christ chose to be our Savior even before we were created. He came to this world, and still drank the bitter cup even though He was living through the absolute worst cruelties people have ever performed in earth’s history. And He even chose to come back as a resurrected Being to our world because He believes in us. He asked His Father—our Father—to forgive us because we don’t understand what we’re even doing. He has literally saved us, in all things small and large because of His love for us.
Recently, my family bought an old camper and asked our friends to help us fix it up and renovate the inside in time for a camping trip. That camping trip was scheduled for last weekend. As time approached closer and closer, I caught myself praying for the safety of this journey in a 44-year-old vehicle. We were heading to Jackson Lake, which is apparently a really hot place and I was specifically nervous that the health of my baby brother was in jeopardy considering the amount of times his little body has overheated. About an hour and a half into our journey, the camper broke down. Which could have meant that we were all going to die on the side of the road, in fact we could have died just from the heat of that day. But instead, the Lord prepared the PERFECT spot to break down.
We ended up right next to a large cell tower, so even though we were in the middle of nowhere, (let me know if you’ve ever heard of Roggin, Colorado) we had access to make all the necessary calls to confirm our safety. We had three kids under the age of three in that vehicle with us, if we stayed in the car they would have gone bonkers, and we would have naturally gone insane along with them. Luckily for us, the cell tower had a huge empty driveway that we could take all the little ones to and let them be comfortable in the situation. Also, very fortunate for the situation, we were prepared for camping so we had every single thing you can imagine ensuring that we would not overheat on the 100 degree day. There was a slight breeze which felt really nice but we didn’t have to rely on that because we had ice to chomp on and rub all over our hot bodies. We had water to drink for hydration and dump on us when the ice wasn’t enough. We had food that got eaten very fast. We had blankets to lay on the ground so our kids could have a spot to rest without sitting on burning pavement. We had camp chairs for the adults and essentially used them to build a shady structure for the kids. And we even had fully charged phones for the when the kids wanted to watch a movie on the side of the road! Seriously, the location was nothing short of a miracle.
After about two hours of waiting, our dad was able to come and pick up the family load of 7 passengers. What is also a blessing is that my dad was able to leave in the middle of his shift even though he works in a secure skiff for the government that does not always have open doors. It was incredible that he could get to us that fast. Even more of a blessing is that we made it home in time for dinner and bedtime stories. This is a huge deal when you have little ones who are reliant on a schedule and have had long exhausting days like that.
The more we contemplated about this experience, the more we realized how loving and careful the Lord is about our situation. We might be put in very undesirable circumstances, those circumstances might last a lifetime like my sister’s mom or just a few moments like our camping trip, but no matter the circumstance, it is our choice to choose if we will allow our experiences to draw closer to Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.
Elder Renlund explained that when we choose to remember the Lord in difficult times, we learn to recognize the Spirit more often. Because the Holy Ghost is the teacher of all truth, we are actively building our testimonies when we choose to be grateful and give thanks to the Lord for the blessings Heavenly Father the Jesus Christ have given us.
Obviously, we have all faced difficulties due to this pandemic, and most of us have probably had to change our lives a little bit more drastically than planned. What a perfect opportunity for us all to recognize the Lord’s plan in our lives, right?
A couple months before my school announced we’d be learning remotely, I had a sense that I would be leaving the island soon. I knew I was graduating in June so I would be leaving in the summer, but I had always felt like I would be there forever. Because of this feeling I started to take in the views a lot more cautiously and reverently than I had for about the two years I lived in Hawaii before. These views were full of precious memories the Lord granted me all around the island. I could feel that change was coming, and the Lord was preparing me. I was intending to stay in Hawaii for much longer than just school. Until a Thursday afternoon when I received an email telling all the students to leave the island and return to their home countries or states despite the circumstances those homes were in. I called my parents because of this email and asked if I should come home, we had a plane ticket booked for that coming Sunday within twenty minutes. Life was moving fast for everyone involved, all my neighbors were moving and toilet paper was scarce. The next morning, when driving home from CrossFit with my friends, (knowing that would be the last time I went to the gym before leaving) I had a strong feeling that I needed to leave that day (Friday) and not wait till Sunday. This was a big deal since my best friend was getting married on Saturday. My mom called almost right after I had that feeling and we arranged my ticket for me to leave on Friday evening. This was the last plane in that airline that left Hawaii and came to the mainland for a month, and the last plane from my layover airport in Seattle until further notice. If I had waited another day, I would have been stuck in Hawaii for much longer and not with my family.
I am so grateful that I was able to make that flight, and that the Lord prepared me to leave and be with my family months before the tickets were ever thought of. By paying attention to the Spirit and listening to what He has been trying to teach me through this pandemic, I have been able to build my testimony in His plan for all things. I have been able to gain positive experiences with my family that I would not have had by staying in Hawaii. These experiences with my favorite people in the world have been much better than just living in paradise, in fact my family has become my new paradise. I know the Lord wanted me to learn this in order for me to have a stronger testimony in family and in His love for us as His family. Because of this, I have had a stronger desire to do His will and help others feel His love.
Elder Renlund said: “I do not think that God is insulted when we forget Him. Rather, I think He is deeply disappointed. He knows that we have deprived ourselves of the opportunity to draw closer to Him by remembering Him and His goodness. We then miss out on Him drawing nearer to us and the specific blessings He has promised…By considering Their kindness, our perspective and understanding are enlarged. By reflecting on Their compassion, we become more humble, prayerful, and steadfast…Reflecting on God’s goodness and mercy helps us become more spiritually receptive…Let your consideration of Their goodness more firmly bind your wandering heart to Them.” Like mentioned in the beginning of the talk; “He loves to heal wounds you cannot heal; He loves to fix what has been irreparably broken; He compensates for any unfairness inflicted on you; and He loves to permanently mend even shattered hearts.”
Brothers and Sisters, I ask again, what does it take for you to draw closer to Christ? What does it take for you to heed Heavenly Father’s commandment to hear His Son, to “Hear Him”? What does it take for you to have His help in your life? To feel Their love? I invite us all to ponder what it means to draw closer to Them and as we act on those thoughts to reap the heavenly blessings They have in store for us.
In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
(For those who are not familiar with this faith, we do everything voluntarily according to the will of God. So we have a Bishop who is "called" of God in a way is revealed through revelation. The Bishop--and all other callings--are not things the people just decide to do and start filling out applications for, but these people are approached by their leaders based off their unified decision and revelation from the Lord in order to progress in a calling. Each person who agrees to fulfill this duty/calling are then granted a special priesthood blessing where you're set apart from others in the congregation to fulfill this certain task or responsibility. To fulfill your kuliana from God.)
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