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A Poem for Mom

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I called my mom and I heard her overwhelmed. I see how she loves and does better than just well. Just last week she visited me, she got to be with her mommy, my mom, and me. We spend time laughing, giggling, and crying too. Sometimes she yells but I can see through. She feels sad when she yells. So you see? I know that she actually cares about you and me. My mom is a wonderful mom. She loves, she cleans, she cooks, and even sings. One of her little one says “Mom, I love it when you sing!” Her eyes full of glee. Mom’s heart starts to shine. She can see she makes a difference sometimes. What she forgets is sometimes between the lines. Yes. Sometimes momies yell. But I know her very well. I know that when she yells, all her thoughts race to how badly she treats her young ones. She loves them don’t you see? It’s just harder than you can believe. It’s even harder for her than she can believe. Raising these ones, you see? So when you don’t remember, all that you are, here is a message from y...
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Giving Thanks and Putting Trust in the Lord

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 Want to hear (or read about) one of the cutest things ever?  Justin and I got to visit with our families in Colorado over Memorial Day weekend, it was awesome! All of my siblings are pretty smart and ask lots of questions. With adoption being a big part of our family, adoption and biological family questions come up fairly often. This might seem surprising because my siblings who are adopted are only 6, 5, and 4 years old. However, they are curious creatures (just like the rest of the human race) and have asked questions about their birth families here and there. My family will often refer to these birth family members as "Mama ______" or "Daddy _______" and fill in the blank with the appropriate names. In a conversation where "Mama so-and-so" came up, my sweet 6-year old sister looked at my mom and said, "She's not my mama, you're my mom." This conversation was taking place in the middle of the regular hustle and bustle, some were clean...
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January 6th, 2024

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I found blood in my bottoms yesterday, right as I was leaving from work I found blood. I called the doctor in a panic trying to get seen right away, they sent me to an urgent care. I picked up Justin and we went to an urgent care together, explained the situation, and got some answers fairly quickly. The doctor explained that I could be bleeding due to an egg being fertilized close to my cervix, or because we were still so early in the pregnancy that it could go away soon. They sent us to a different building to get an ultrasound and have blood drawn to find out what was going on. The ultrasound tech stayed late to get us in as they were closing up. She didn’t see a sack anywhere which was concerning because it rose suspicion of an ectopic pregnancy. Then, we’re headed to blood work and came home.   While at the doctor, my mom and aunt Donna were trying to get my location so that Donna could come with us to the doctor to make sure everything was okay. I didn’t want that, I only wan...
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Night Time Studies

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Holy moly it has been a long time since I posted in here! I have written a couple drafts and then deleted them because I didn't like how they all turned out. Well, now I am trying it out again. Hopefully this time doesn't include writing an entire post and then deleting it just before going live. The other night, Justin and I were reading in 1st Nephi, a book from the Book of Mormon. The Book of Mormon is a set of scriptures that were recorded in the Americas while the 12 apostles were writing what makes up the New Testament in the Bible in Jerusalem. As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, I read both sets of scripture. Justin and I were reading chapter 2 and chapter 5. These readings were a couple days apart but I noticed some things that I thought I should probably share. 1 Nephi 2:12 (chapter 2, verse 12) reads "And thus Laman and Lemual, being the eldest, did murmur against their father. And they did murmur because they knew not the dealings of...
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Body Love

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Let's talk about body love. If you guys are anything like me, dramatic body shape changes have happened since this dang pandemic began. For some of us, this has been extrememly frustrating because nothing fits the way it is supposed to.  It sucks that nothing fits the way it did this time last year but I still have a really healthy body that works properly and life is honestly better now than it was then! I have had many more home-cooked meals since returning to the mainland and later getting married which could be the coulprit for my body shape changes but I still feel comfortable in my skin...just not my clothes. In fact, my body is probably more healthy now than it has been for years due to the stability and structure my life has gained by being surrounded by family instead of being on "my own"! And I am glad my body is the way it is! It is a symbol of the changes I have gone through, the progress I have made, and the love I have. My body is healthy and beautiful! I wa...
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The Sacrament

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Do you know what one of the most incredible feelings is in the whole world? When you take the sacrament and feel a literal cleansing of your soul. This doesn’t happen every single time for me, in fact this has probably only happened two or three times throughout my whole life. Today it happened. Today, I felt the physical cleansing of my thoughts and what has been weighing on my heart, today I felt lifted. As I was noticing the difference in my feelings as I partook of the sacrament I tried to observe what has been happening around me that was different in order for me to recreate the feeling. This is what I came up with: My family was snowed in for church last week and were not instructed to give the sacrament within the home. The week before that my thoughts were all over as I strived to get wedding things done in time with my fiance in town for the weekend. Before participating in the sacrament meeting I had a meeting with my bishop in preparation for the wedding and my temple atten...
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Grow the tree, don't burn the fire.

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 A few years ago, I attended one semester at BYU-Idaho. Before I even got there I wanted to leave but there was one class that I know I needed to take there that I would not find anywhere else. This was Education 200. By the sounds of it, every single education major would take this class no matter where you were attending school. However, the book we used for the class was "Increase in Learning" by David A Bednar. The main premises of the course were based on spiritual principles and place them into a "secular" learning space like public school. The course's final principle was taught in the last half of the semester but it didn't really click for me till the last two weeks or so.  People talk about passion using phrases like "She's on fire!" or refer to people "exploding with excitement" because of how progressive a person can be in their work. But! There is an issue to being on fire all the time, because eventually you can "bu...
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