Giving Thanks and Putting Trust in the Lord

 Want to hear (or read about) one of the cutest things ever? 

Justin and I got to visit with our families in Colorado over Memorial Day weekend, it was awesome! All of my siblings are pretty smart and ask lots of questions. With adoption being a big part of our family, adoption and biological family questions come up fairly often. This might seem surprising because my siblings who are adopted are only 6, 5, and 4 years old. However, they are curious creatures (just like the rest of the human race) and have asked questions about their birth families here and there. My family will often refer to these birth family members as "Mama ______" or "Daddy _______" and fill in the blank with the appropriate names. In a conversation where "Mama so-and-so" came up, my sweet 6-year old sister looked at my mom and said, "She's not my mama, you're my mom." This conversation was taking place in the middle of the regular hustle and bustle, some were cleaning, kids were playing, some adults were eating. I mean, it wasn't necessarily the most reverent or peaceful moment around the house, but yet the moment was so special. My mom said "That might be the sweetest thing you've ever said to me, Pop." 

This moment really stuck out to me. Watching something so tender, and then the sweet hug that followed has been on constant replay in my mind since witnessing the scene. If you've been following this blog or are close to me at all, then you know that my husband and I have lost 3 babies over the course of 2 pregnancies. We've struggled to get pregnant and also struggled to stay pregnant. We've come to peace about it all, and because adoption is clearly a part of my family, we've decided it would be natural for us to include that in our family too. We've talked about adoption since before getting married, we've known it would be a big part of our growing family, we just didn't realize that biological kids wouldn't be so easy to come by.

After having struggled with infertility, we have turned to the Lord in seeking guidance and hope for the future. The Lord has made it clear that whatever happens, whether it be conceiving children naturally or adopting children, that our family will grow the way as He intends it to. The scriptures teach us about turning everything over to the Lord and giving thanks regardless of how bad our situation is at all times. Today, we were talking about different groups of people in the scriptures that gave thanks when they were being aided compared to those who weren't. Those who gave thanks, experienced very similar trials to what everyone else experienced but they learned how to trust in the Lord regardless of what happened to their trials. This is something that I want to do. I feel like this infertility journey has constantly led me to Christ but that I still for some reason haven't completely given my heart to Him. That for some reason it was difficult to let go of the pain, which sounds ridiculous because who even wants pain? That's the thing I am literally trying to get rid of! Healing emotionally and spiritually are complicated things, but I know that through Christ that all things can be made whole. 

Witnessing my sweet little sister share her opinion on who her actual mother was at just 6 years old showed me that truly, no matter what happens, that the Lord is on our side and He will do anything He can to help us work through our trials. We are blessed every single day, especially when it is hard to see. So I will be working on giving my thanks, and I will be working on trusting in the Lord no matter what lays ahead. I know that my Redeemer lives, and that He loves me too. I know that there is a plan in all things, He reminded me of that through my little sister and her conversation with my mom. I know that He doesn't want to see me struggle, He wants to see me overcome and that through Him, we can.